Learning a life lesson definitely isn't easy

I'm trying this again. Yes, it was a year and a half ago that I did this, but think I may be up to the challenge now.

My life is crazy 99.9% of the time. Even so I am proud to say that I generally remain optimistic and cheerful. Unfortunately, I almost let the past few months change that. I have spent many hours crying, feeling despair and letting myself wallow in self pity. I felt alone. Even though my situation hasn't changed, my attitude has. My husband kept asking me if I had prayed about our situation and I had but didn't feel any calm. Another sleepless night was upon me so I prayed and then decided to get out of bed. What do you do when you can't sleep? I either watch television or get on the computer. I started to "google" and found a situation very close to what we are going through. I felt it was an answer to my prayer. I also took some advise and went to see our bishop. I never expected such kindness and for the first time in the last few months I felt hopeful. I was reading in my Ensign prior and realized that even though I felt I had did my best, my best would always be flawed and that was why we have the atonement. I have felt for quite some time that I need to be strong. I always assumed being "strong" meant doing things on my own. I realized that this is foolish. I can't handle this situation on my own. Being strong means admiting this and being humble enough to accept help from others, especially my Savior. I feel since I've changed my attitude that I have been blessed by others. Today a friend in my ward brought me a plate of cookies and an overly kind letter. I'm not sure she'll ever know how much it meant to me. It has inspired me though. I may not be able to give out the type of Valentine's for February that I'm use to giving but I'm going to make my own little "love notes" to tell people what they mean and do for me. I am so grateful I am not alone and knowing this makes the challenges that I'm facing bearable.

A brain full of sugar plums

Okay, I'm trying this again.

Thursday we had Christmas in July. I have some serious Christmas on the brain. We worked on Christmas crafts, ate a Santa Claus cake that I made, and watched Christmas movies the following day. It's so hot out and all I can think about is "why, is Christmas so far away?"

Is it time to make the donuts again?

Every time I get up with Davis in the morning I think "Is it time to make the donuts again?" There was this 80's commercial where this guy repeatedly got up early to go make the donuts and then came home late to start the whole process all over again. It seems that the only people up at 4:30 are those who are making donuts or who have a baby.

can I do this?

I wanted to see if i could post all by myself. :)

Can a zoo be calm?

Shortly after having Davis our doctor showed concern that our middle son Trevor may have a form of Autism.  After all the craziness of last year I thought things were going to settle down.  When it was first brought up I thought there was no way.  They explained that there are all different severities of Autism.  Areas that I thought my son was just quirky were explained to be typical for a child with this disorder.  Last year when we went to get our family photo and some shots of our boys Trevor screamed the entire time.  Finally I just had them take this picture so I had a reference to when he was three.  This was the second time I had taken him in to get this picture, the time before he would not even sit in front of the camera.  Dealing with a child who has Celiac Disease, one on the Autism spectrum and a baby, is very overwhelming.  Sometimes it's just about getting through the moment.  This week though I saw a little break from the insanity - Trevor started preschool (he was approved through the district for special education in the hopes that he'll be able to be mainstreamed by Kindergarten)!  Davis decided to do his part also by taking naps during this time.  I love my boys but am so grateful when I get a few minutes to just enjoy being me.